I always thought it a bit of a cliche that new mum's felt lonely. Now it's happening to me I am shocked by how all-encompassing it is. I feel like the whole world has carried on and I've just stopped.

It started when I was pregnant and my friends just weren't interested in me anymore. They don't have any kids and, for the most part, don't want any. I still tried to go out with them but it turns out that when you're sober your friends seem kinda like dicks. I actually quit drinking before I got pregnant, for personal reasons, and I think had I not fell pregnant it wouldn't have lasted. I would have given in and started the shots just to be able to stand their company.

Many of my friends haven't met my baby even though she's already 5 months old. I was even told a couple of weeks ago that I'm boring for posting so many photos of her on Instagram! It took over 5 years of trying for me to conceive and I was convinced something would go wrong. She is the most precious thing to me and I get it that others don't feel the same way. I don't want them to like & comment on all my pictures. If it bothers them all that much they should stop following me. I'm not going to feel bad for being completely in love with my baby. I don't make them feel shit for all those photos of salads and cars and cocktails.

So here I am at home with my baby on a Saturday night. I can see from various social media platforms that my friends are out. My family are out. My husband is out. I wasn't invited out. I've been to baby groups and I'm not Charlie anymore, Im Katie's mum. Do I even exist?